Sunday, April 23, 2006

Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry but I totally disagree. I appreciate you reading, but I am not crying victim and purposely fueling an internal fire. I understand what you are trying to say, though, except that I don't - and have NEVER - labeled myself a victim of my past.

I hate the word VICTIM as much as I hate the word RAPE.

I am a survivor.

I am very sorry you were also raped. I appreciate you being able to relate to the feelings and confusion because you felt them once, too. Except I think you have missed the point entirely.

I am not dwelling. I hate that word, too.

I am reflecting because I am only human. Everyone reflects, thinks and feels different things and emotions about their lives as they ARE moving forward with their lives.

I am a writer. I write non-fiction, about life, who we are, things that do and don't happen, relationships, struggles, triumphs, etc., etc. No, not self-help crap. Just life in general. And the world. And how there is rhyme and reason to all of it. Everything I have survived thus far reminds me that it is the worst situations that bring out the best in all of us.

What you read about in this blog is a big part of who I am, but it is not all of who I am. I do not dwell and drown myself in my misery because I am unknowingly fueling the fire. I am just expressing emotions and feelings about hurtful moments and experiences.

And everyone has them. Not just me.

I apologize if I seem agitated, but your response reminds me of another anonymous reader (male reader) who responsed that I should just "get over it." I erased that post entirely just to erase him.

Another important note - I AM taking control of the situation by finally not running from it anymore. Many people who know me DO NOT know these things about my life. But that doesn't mean they didn't happen, and that they don't happen to others. I am allowing my past to rest, not burn because I am fueling it. I am slowly but surely making room for the new. I don't even know what else to say except: You may have been reading my words, but it doesn't sound like you were really listening.

Take Care of Yourself, Anon.


Blogger jumpinginpuddles said...

i hope you keep writing. Its a place you can let go and let heal but because it takes a while to get there doesnt mean you wont.
I like the way you write because you sa yit as it feels and the way you write makes others feel with you.
Anonymous if you ish to comment in such a degree please let us see your full face and your blog rather than hide behind a nothingness. It far easier commenting on soemone blog if you cant show who you are, perhaps you are hiding more thna you are showing.

sa'de (many in one)

4/24/2006 2:23 AM  
Blogger jumpinginpuddles said...

ps sorry about the spelling mistakes

4/24/2006 2:23 AM  
Blogger survivor said...

Well said ML!

4/24/2006 7:43 PM  
Blogger Tammiodo said...

I have been reading your life silently for the last few weeks, but would now like to just say one thing: You are a survivor, don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not.It seems as though your blog is an important part of your reflection and dealing with life. That does not make you a victim who can't let go of the past.

Keep doing what you're doing.

4/27/2006 12:02 AM  

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