Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Survivors, Tell Me Your Story

I'd like to begin compiling survivor stories from around the world.

Or if you know a rape/sexual abuse survivor, I beg you to give them a voice and tell their story, too. I need as many truths as I can get...

I will not edit or change one thing. Think of this is your way of being heard. I won't adjust punctuation, spell-check, or add/delete anything. This is YOUR story, YOUR words, YOUR heart on "paper." You have the right to tell your story however you wish.

And I think it would be extremely therapeutic for other survivors to see that we are not alone, despite how many millions of times a day we feel it...

You can tell me your story via a comment below, or you can email me: rapedlostalone@yahoo.com

Thanks in advance for sharing :)

Much Love,
The Missing Link


Blogger Mike said...

I honestly know no one who has gone through this. I can't imagine how tough it would be.

7/25/2006 11:42 AM  
Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

Mike: No offense intended, but have you been hiding under a rock?! One in three girls in our country is sexually assaulted by the time she turns 18! (The stats for males are shocking and outrageous as well.)

For me, it started when I was a toddler. My father is a severly mentally ill pedophile.

The childhood sexual abuse truly groomed me for my date rape. I cried, said "no," and tried to get my pinned arms to work so I could get away. In the end, though, I really didn't struggle against my rapist very hard. I knew that struggling was futile. I knew there was a good chance I would just be called a "slut" if I screamed for help. I stayed still and quiet and waited for it to be over so I could just get the hell out of there. At least I survived.

ML: As you know, there's way more to my story on my blog and website. Just e-mail me with any specific writing you want to use. Good luck with this--awesome!

7/26/2006 9:27 AM  
Blogger brian said...

Hi ML. I am a surviver. I have just started to write about the issues that affect me. I have known women that have told me they were sexually assaulted, but it is not something that people talk about. My childhood, was, is, very hard to talk about. Not only for what I remember, but for what I don't. I had a post in the recent carnival, and will have others soon.

None of us are alone.

Mike- I understand your sentiment. The shame we all feel, prevents us from talking openly.

7/26/2006 1:48 PM  
Blogger jumpinginpuddles said...

we will give this some thought and get back to you :0


7/26/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger keepers said...

if you want to read stories and get a background why not visit the many sites and i do mean MANY and read it yourself. You can start at http://www.keeperskorner.com

there are articles, blogs, artwork, links, all kinds of resources. this is just one of MANY like it, survivors telling thier stories


8/06/2006 7:18 PM  
Blogger manicpanic said...

I was raped on Valentine's Day by someone I knew and trusted. I don't remember much b/c I had been drinking. I don't know if I was drugged. I had a really bad headache the next day, and I couldn't remember much of anything.

I tried to deny to myself that it happened because of the fact that I couldn't actually remember it. I tried to pretend it didn't happen. I tried to play down how it made me feel.

3 days and ~15 showers later I decided to call a crisis hotline. It was easier for them to define my experience. I didn't/couldn't give consent. I was raped. I went to my doctor and was tested. They set me up with trauma counseling. I tried to do it all alone. I didn't tell anyone.

I decided to skip a few classes until I could figure out what was going on. Then I ran into him at the campus library. He approached me and I freaked out and started shaking and crying, before I ran into the women's bathroom to hide for half an hour. I haven't felt safe since.

He kept calling and leaving me messages that he was worried about how much I was freaking out, and that he didn't do anything wrong. That he would never hurt me. That it was all my idea...

...even though I don't remember leaving the bar, or getting into his car, or anything else that happened after.

At no point did he ever apologize or take any responsibility for what happened that night.

It's been 3 weeks now and I can't go near the building I have classes in without having a panic attack. I'm afraid of going to the grocery store, or the library, or most places in town I might run into him. I tried to reach out. I tried to tell my friends what happened, but I felt so disgusting and ashamed for letting this happen to me. I was worried what they would think of me.

I had a panic attack last week and locked myself in the bathroom for ~6hours. After trying to get me out of the bathroom for about half that time I told one of my friends what had happened and he was very supportive. Just knowing he was on my side made me feel a little bit more capable of handling this. I felt like I could finally think about going to the police.

I tried to tell another friend. His response was less supportive "So you made a mistake; I don't think any less of you for it." I felt as if I died on the inside when he said that. His response validated my deepest fears that I would be blamed for what he did to me. That I was asking for it. I can't tell my family b/c I'm afraid they'll blame me too.

I'm going through counseling and I'm on anxiety medication to keep me from locking myself in any more bathrooms. I feel so alone. I feel so ashamed. The medication only keeps me from freaking out on the outside. I feel like I'm dying on the inside. I can't sleep without the meds because I keep having nightmares and I don't know if they're real or if my mind is just trying to fill in the blanks. Everything is so fuzzy. I don't want to leave my bedroom, I don't want to eat, I just don't want to live anymore. I just want it to be over.

3/08/2009 3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was raped two weeks ago and I'm still trying to make sense of it. It was with someone I trusted and I was drunk enough that I still don't remember most of it. I saw a psychologist today and she told me that, "that's just what happens when girls get drunk. you should have expected it." It's safe to say I'm not going to see her again. I don't understand how I'm supposed to deal with this. I hate pretending I'm okay or that it doesn't matter. My close friends are tired of hearing about it and I don't really want to try out another counselor. I've talked to people about reporting it, and from what it sounds like it's almost impossible to convict someone.

Why is rape so common, and more uncommonly addressed with the weight it deserves? I have two other friends who have been raped and both of them reported it and the men walked away with NOTHING! Why do we continue to blame the victim and treat it as an issue they need to carry, and what will it take for us to see the perpetrators as wrongful and deserving of consequences?

4/22/2009 11:03 PM  

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