Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Why I Run...

Running has been my favorite outlet since high school. I used to always leave the house and go for a long run when I didn't want to be around my dad... which was usually after a bad night. And especially after I was raped, running and writing became my ONLY outlets. But I think I might need surgery on my knee, so running has been difficult the last few years. Usually a mile or so into my run, my knee locks and I can barely walk. I end up limping like a dipshit all the way back home. And to this day, after running five to ten miles a day for 12 years, I still don't know if I was running away from something or running towards it.

Yeah, I know - random running story. Just smoked to fall back asleep... been up for two hours already - how frustrating!

Another ex-boyfriend called me out of the blue yesterday. Questions Fanatic. I forgot about him (a good thing), until his call. He lives out of town but was in my neighborhood for a musician friend's show. I didn't call him back. A friend is having a pool party this weekend... there is a very good chance Questions Fanatic will be there since he's in the same group of friends - I didn't even think about this until he called me. Now I don't even want to go to this party - I just don't really like being around him. He makes me feel "icky." And if we're drinking together, we usually end up hooking up. Even though it's been a year since I've seen him, I don't want to leave any room to keep making that mistake. And yes, he's a mistake.

I'm smoking so much pot lately because Life is really fucking weird right now. I can't even get into right now because - thank God! - I'm falling back asleep. Hopefully I can catch another two hours before my alarm pisses me off...


Blogger jumpinginpuddles said...

And you continue to run you just have not the best avenues. I hope the running doesnt tire you out too much, because eventually youll have to stop right ?


8/06/2006 2:41 AM  
Blogger Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Running is a great way to get away from so much - to destress, etc. So much better than smoking. But, I understand how certain habits take hold of us when we are fragile. I hope you can be feeling better soon.


8/07/2006 7:35 PM  
Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

I hope you got some sleep. Hey, I know it was a few posts ago here, but...speaking of telling our stories: I just put up something on my blog that scared the shit out of me, but I did it anyway. I'd really love your feedback on it, if you're up for it. Thanks!

8/08/2006 5:11 PM  

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