Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Why I Run...

Running has been my favorite outlet since high school. I used to always leave the house and go for a long run when I didn't want to be around my dad... which was usually after a bad night. And especially after I was raped, running and writing became my ONLY outlets. But I think I might need surgery on my knee, so running has been difficult the last few years. Usually a mile or so into my run, my knee locks and I can barely walk. I end up limping like a dipshit all the way back home. And to this day, after running five to ten miles a day for 12 years, I still don't know if I was running away from something or running towards it.

Yeah, I know - random running story. Just smoked to fall back asleep... been up for two hours already - how frustrating!

Another ex-boyfriend called me out of the blue yesterday. Questions Fanatic. I forgot about him (a good thing), until his call. He lives out of town but was in my neighborhood for a musician friend's show. I didn't call him back. A friend is having a pool party this weekend... there is a very good chance Questions Fanatic will be there since he's in the same group of friends - I didn't even think about this until he called me. Now I don't even want to go to this party - I just don't really like being around him. He makes me feel "icky." And if we're drinking together, we usually end up hooking up. Even though it's been a year since I've seen him, I don't want to leave any room to keep making that mistake. And yes, he's a mistake.

I'm smoking so much pot lately because Life is really fucking weird right now. I can't even get into right now because - thank God! - I'm falling back asleep. Hopefully I can catch another two hours before my alarm pisses me off...

3 Comments:

Blogger jumpinginpuddles said...

And you continue to run you just have not the best avenues. I hope the running doesnt tire you out too much, because eventually youll have to stop right ?

Felicia

8/06/2006 2:41 AM  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

Running is a great way to get away from so much - to destress, etc. So much better than smoking. But, I understand how certain habits take hold of us when we are fragile. I hope you can be feeling better soon.

~Deb

8/07/2006 7:35 PM  
Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

I hope you got some sleep. Hey, I know it was a few posts ago here, but...speaking of telling our stories: I just put up something on my blog that scared the shit out of me, but I did it anyway. I'd really love your feedback on it, if you're up for it. Thanks!

8/08/2006 5:11 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Copyright 2006 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including printing and photocopying, recording or by any other information storage or retrievel system, without permission in writing from the publisher.