Friday, October 23, 2009

If you could ask your rapist one question...

raped twice. the first = insane... the second = recent.... actually, few years ago... not that recent, I guess...

... even more recent: emailed him (he was a "friend") saying we need to have a convo about our last night together... and that I hoped he would man up and meet me halfway. he responded right away, ready to answer any & all of my questions...

for you, another survivor...

Im curious what you would want to ask your rapist/attacker... besides the hardest question of all - "WHY?" ....

one things for sure... my brain and heart are working overtime with how to have this convo with him, but I have a grip on it. Im handling it, and am not worried or scared or nervous. Im ready. I fully understand the reality and depth of what I'm about to do, but Ive never been more ready...
so, dear survivor, if you never had this opportunity, but always wished you did... what would you want/need to know???

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an amazing blog that you are writting. I, myself, am also a survivor, mine date rape (virginity). I never found him again, but I would want to know how he would feel to know that a man took the virginity of his mother/sister/daughter/wife. How would that make him feel and what would he want to do to that man. I know what my husband would do, but what would someone who could do this himself do.

10/24/2009 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think of me? Do you remember me? I feel like I think of you everyday, and you remember me no more. Is that how it is?

10/25/2009 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ i wonder if he thinks about me everyday because i think about him literally every second of everyday for thhe passed year.im still living in his hell festering in my own thought nightmares and feelings but does he think about me does he feel remorse? is he sorry?

2/15/2010 9:50 PM  
Blogger Cleshonda said...

As I read your blog, thoughts of my own encounter, seem very hard to forget. I wasn't physically rape, although the person took something so much more from me... my innocence. I was 8 then. I was 8 when the world changed. I was lucky because I got away before he was able to get my pants down. I never forgot that occurance. He seem to no longer remember. When I see him, neither of us discuss the acts of that day. And after almost 20 years, I still pretend that family means everything.

If I had the courage to say anything, it would be, 'how could you focus me beyond my childhood?'

3/01/2010 12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got the chance to ask. And I asked what part of "no, please, no," was so difficult to understand. He claimed he thought he was helping me....this was someone I'd opened up to about being raped twice previously, thinking it would help him understand why I didn't want him to push and touch me all the time (budding potential relationship). I don't understand his answer any more than he seemed to understand the question.

As for the other two....if I could, I would ask them why they saw me as easy prey. What did I do to make them think they could get away with it?

5/01/2010 4:25 PM  
Blogger The Missing Link said...

FYI, I found my rapist last night.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. Please keep the comments and questions coming. I WILL see him... still need time to let all of this sink in.

Love you all, xo

2/04/2011 11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would ask him why? I would ask him how? How he was capable to destroy my life for six years and go on living? I would ask him if he ever felt the least bit of remorse. I would ask him what in the hell is so attractive about a six year old? I would ask him how he could betray my trust like that...

3/14/2011 8:17 PM  

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