I don't know...

See how easy is it for me to go from doing great to being confused all over again? Is everyone like this? I think my age has something to do with it, honestly. Being 27 is kind of a weird place... especially if marraige and kids aren't priority like everyone else you know.

I'm okay with telling Bob about my rape. But now I'm going to feel a little awkward for a little while. It's just going to take me a while to not feel so naked at the office. And the guys talk, so I don't doubt that Bob already told the rest that it's true, I was raped.

Lately, though, since my last two boyfriends have popped back into my life, I can't stop thinking about someone else. I don't even know why. I'm curious about our "friendship." It doesn't feel like it's just a friendship, it feels like it might be something more... but I don't know if that's what we want... or maybe we're just too lame to admit we want it? I don't know why it even matters lately. I think I'm curious about who/what else is out there because I've finally closed the door on some unhealthy relationships. I'm curious why sex feels so incredible and safe with this one, and why we're still holding on. But I don't know how much longer I want to live here... I've been dying to relocate for so long now. It's just a matter of paying off a few more bills and then I can seriously figure it out. But being in two weddings in the next 13 months is preventing me from really saving much money for a big move... and I need a passport (maybe international visa, too)for the second wedding so that should give you a hint of how expensive Life is going to be for a little while. (Note to the World: No matter where I'm at, you better hook me up with a good boyfriend during this time... I want someone fun, cool and attractive - and must like to party, because we sure as hell love our alcohol and jokes! - to share this trip with. How boring to go to a 10 day destination wedding all by yourself!)

Anyhow, I don't know... just curious ... but the not-knowing is what makes this fun. I don't want to push the envelope with anything. Everything will work itself out when the time is right. I have plenty to keep me busy in the meantime...