Saturday, October 14, 2006

High on Life

Kinda drunk right now, and watching some random MTV show about kids hooked on crystal meth.

All it makes me think about is doing some great, tasty lines of angel-white cocaine.

I haven't done coke in 14 months. A fucking world record for me. As much as my mouth is, literally, watering right now from missing my most favorite high, I WILL NOT break. Life already has me walking on a tightrope... I'll make it to the other side... slowly, but surely.. I'll make it over there.

I can't crack.

No more hard drugs.

But, OH MY FUCKING GOD, do I wish I wish I had a healthy eight-ball in front of me right now.

One more thing:

I miss him.

And I swear to you, Dear Reader, that I don't even know why I miss him... but I do...

I just have to let it all go.

I have to focus on getting myself healthy again, first and foremost.

Bottom line.

End of story.

It is what it is.

And that's that.

Take it day by day, Missing Link, day by day...

Dear Grandma,
Tell me one of his stories. Please give me his strength to put one foot in front of the other. Please, please meet me in my dreams again, and tell me what to do. ..


Blogger jumpinginpuddles said...

im glad you are trying to take no more hard drugs but im sorry it is hurting so much for you right now


10/15/2006 2:39 AM  
Blogger emerald_agony said...

When you are rendered powerless by somebody, you realize that your life in their hands. In that moment, He is control of your destiny.
It's not weird that you miss him. Not at all. Almost one quarter of women who experience sexual assault by a friend/aquaintance go on to develop sexual relationships with their attacker. Your feelings are fine and many others share them with you. Other people rarely understand this. That is why we have to stick together and support each other. An understanding soul is priceless therapy.

3/08/2008 2:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Copyright 2006 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including printing and photocopying, recording or by any other information storage or retrievel system, without permission in writing from the publisher.